For almost five months I’ve been taking a break from blogging and writing but they (not sure who they is) say all good things must come to an end. It is time for me to blog again. Much has happened this spring, many life changes and major decisions. I am eager to share these with my readers. But not tonight. Other duties call. Stay tuned for more to follow.
For eight months now I’ve been blogging several times a week about turning 60 and my quest to get healthy. I’ve talked a little bit about everything drawing from my personal experience and relating the posts to everyday things. I discovered writing late in life and thanks to the internet I have many outlets to work with. I’d like to think that my writing is inspiring to others. I know that at times it brings me peace and calm in an otherwise crazy world.
Last month on this blog, I announced the re-release of my book as an electronic version. I followed up by being a guest blogger on ten different sites. It was fun, interesting and rewarding to talk with readers from all over the world. From these blogs three people were selected to win a FREE copy of my book, When Ties Break. Read the rest of this entry »
December 28th I turned sixty years old and I celebrated my birthday with great fanfare. In February I released the electronic version of my memoir at the basement price of .99.
I’ve been blogging all month on various websites and met many interesting people. Many of them asked what I learned from writing my book. This is my final blog on the tour. I’m going to attempt to summarize my life lessons six points that I’ll call my sexy six.
Don’t ever give-up. So many times in life things do not go our way or what we’re trying to do is difficult. We get discouraged, disillusioned, we lose our motivation, we give out of money, we get sick – there’s no limit to the number of challenging things that happen to us. But one thing is for sure, you never reach the final destination if you give up along the way. It really is true that the most rewarding things in life are the ones you work the hardest to obtain. In my book I talk about the many obstacles I overcame to get where I am today. So many times I wanted to quit, several times I even thought of suicide, and for years I felt I was hanging on by a thread. But I always believed things would get better. No matter how difficult it was I never gave up. Looking back today I would not trade my life with anyone.
Learn to love and accept yourself. You would think this is easy to do but it’s not. Some children grow up in loving homes with a healthy self-esteem, only to get involved in relationships that make them feel inferior and unloved. Children can be cruel. Often they tease their classmates – picking one thing they feel is wrong with them – and continue until they emotionally destroy the other person. Some individuals believe that marriage gives them a license to remake their partners. Often this is connected to abusive behavior – like my first and second marriages – leading to low self-esteem. If you don’t learn to love yourself you don’t have much love to give to others.
Don’t let anyone else define who you are. This is hard, especially if you’re a people pleaser. You might not agree with someone but to keep from hurting their feelings or to be accepted by them, you often compromise and lose your identity. I’m not advocating being selfish or tuning others out but rather learning to listen to your heart and developing your intuition. What is it that you really want to do? Relationships are difficult but all too often they are one sided. You do things you do not want to do for all the wrong reasons. One day you look in the mirror and wonder who you are.
Family is worth fighting for. Much of my book deals with my dysfunctional family. I was excommunicated by my brother the day we buried our father. It took me many years to get over this and work my way back into my family. So many individuals asked why I wanted to do this when I was treated so badly. In the past five years I’ve spoken with many people and so many of them came from broken families. I now believe that you don’t have to like your family but you can love them. You don’t have to spend a lot of time with them but when you do it can be bearable. Friends can become a substitute for your family. Families many times feel they can treat each other badly but you don’t have to allow this. It’s essential that you learn to establish boundaries, especially with your family.
Master the act of forgiveness. Family, relationships and life deals many wrongs to all of us. Often we become bitter, hold grudges and have a tendency to get back at others. Forgiveness is one of life’s hardest lessons. Many times individuals never admit any wrong doing and they might not ask for your forgiveness. Forgiveness is something you do for yourself, not for the other person. When you hold on to hate and anger you are not getting even with them. These negative feelings are like poison in your body and leads to all kinds of problems. Forgiveness doesn’t always lead to reconciliation. Sometimes relationships can’t be put back together. Sometimes you have to cut ties with your family or get divorced but as you move on, try to forgive those who’ve wronged you.
Don’t ask why, don’t look back, don’t stress over tomorrow, and learn to embrace change. Its human nature for individuals to struggle with difficult issues and to resist change. When things don’t work out or when bad things happen to us, we want to know why. It’s okay to do some soul searching, ask questions, and analyze situations but you need to put a limit on this. What lessons did you learn? What do you want to do differently the next time? Make changes if you need to. Change leads to growth. You can’t go back and redo things. You may never understand why some things happened. You have to get to the place where you accept it, believe that it was meant to be and that it was part of your journey. All too often we spend so much time looking back that we miss what is happening today. These same principles can be applied to the future. Often we worry excessively over what is going to happen tomorrow when most of those things never come to be. One of the great lessons to living an abundant, contented life is learning how to live in the now. This is so hard to do but mastering this will change your life dramatically.
Several years ago I became a Personal Life Coach because I felt that I could help others deal with some of the issues addressed above. If you’d like more info please check out my web site and if you’d like to know more about my life you can purchase my memoir this month for only .99. Thank you for reading my blog. I hope that you are inspired by my sexy six.
Good news! My blood work continues to get better. Earlier this week, I visited my primary physician. For about a year now she has been encouraging me to make some life style changes and lose weight so that I could bring my numbers – cholesterol, HBP, and Sugar – down. I have not been diagnosed with HBP or diabetes but if my numbers continued to creep up she said that was very likely. I have been diagnosed with high cholesterol but those numbers are getting better! If I continue on this path, she said I might even be able to stop taking medication.
Her comment to me was to continue doing what I’m doing because Its Working. Taking It Works! products is one thing that I am doing. I’m also eating less, trying to exercise more and working hard to lower my stress level. It’s not always easy. Some weeks I can’t squeeze in any exercise at all. Other weeks I exercise 4 or 5 times. Most days I do well counting calories but yesterday I could not resist Krispy Kreme Donuts. After all, it was Valentine’s Day. Hot and covered with chocolate – I had three. I know because of this I’ll have to eat even better for the next few days. Read the rest of this entry »
Why would my father, prior to his death, request that my ex-husband be a pallbearer at his funeral? Did he forget that this was the man who walked out on me with one of my friends, leaving me with two small children? Their affair devastated me! It took many years to pick up the pieces. My life and the lives of my children were forever changed because of this one event. Sometimes writers make minor changes in articles (recycle) so they can reuse for other publications. This article will appear on Feb 17th on the blog Thoughts in Progress. Because I feel this is such an important topic, I decided to preview it today on my own blog. I think we under utilize and underestimate the power of forgiveness.
Many years after my fathers death, I came to understand that he was trying to teach me a valuable lesson – how to forgive the unforgivable. As a minister this was what he preached and lived his whole life. It seemed so easy for him but I struggled with this for a very long time. As Valentine’s Day approaches, I find myself divorced and wondering if I’ll ever find true love. I’m content with where I am if this never happens. I’m happy to say that because of all my life experiences I am better at forgiveness. These are a few things that I’ve learned: Read the rest of this entry »
The last week-end in December, I toured The Biltmore in Asheville, NC. This was my sixtieth birthday present to me. AT 8,000 acres it is the largest private home in the USA. Located in the Blue Ridge Mountains, words can’t describe its natural beauty and uniqueness. Years ago, the family opened the house to the public and I’ve visited it many times. What I found most interesting on this visit was the winery.
In 1970, William Cecil, the grand-son of George Vanderbilt (the builder and original owner of Biltmore) introduced to the Board of Directors a plan to grow grapes and open a winery. His idea was voted down but he didn’t give up. He continued researching, experimenting, and eventually the Board agreed. Several years later his dream of a winery became a reality. Today it is managed by his son, Bill Cecil, Jr. and is the most visited winery in America. Read the rest of this entry »